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-Busch Gardens will get a new thrill ride called the “Fiscal Cliff.”
-Bravo announces the premiere of “Real Housewives of East Ybor.”
-Unemployment numbers will no longer go up, because everyone who used to calculate them has been fired.
-2013 will FINALLY be the year the “Porky’s” movie franchise is revived.
-Genetically engineered corn will butter and salt itself, and shove a stick up itself if at a county fair.
-Taylor Swift will write a song about an ex-boyfriend that’s actually called “No Hard Feelings.”
-Dr. Oz will develop a horrifying rash on his face he can neither explain nor cure.
-An early 8th grade draft pick will win the Heisman.
-Descendants of the Mayans will feel obligated to come up with a whole new calendar.
-Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert will finally become famous enough that they get the tabloid hybrid name of “Bliranda.”